You’ve found the love of your life… or have you? There’s something about this person that gives you a little tingle in your gut, telling you to be careful. Listen to your gut.
Romance scams are becoming an increasingly common way for scammers to prey on well‑intentioned — and sometimes lonely — people. They take advantage of feelings and emotions to steal money. In the U.S. alone, romance scammers con victims out of at least $1.3 billion every year, and with nearly 30% of single adults using a dating site or app, scammers have easy access to potential victims.
Common Signs You May Be in a Romance Scam
Romance scammers are very good at what they do. They create online profiles and conversations that seem genuine, sincere, caring, and — most importantly — believable. Often, they try to establish a relationship quickly, though some will string people along for months or even years before springing their trap. Despite this, there are common red flags that indicate they aren’t who they claim to be.
- Love Bombing – The person quickly professes love, laying on excessive affection and praise. This is designed to gain your trust so they can persuade you to send money.
- Intense interest in your personal life – While curiosity is normal in relationships, scammers push for very specific personal details. This helps them identify vulnerabilities to exploit later.
- Inability to meet in person – They may suggest meeting, or agree when you do, but something always comes up at the last minute.
- Always out of town or out of the country – They may claim to live nearby, yet consistently say they are traveling or overseas when meeting is discussed.
- Work in construction, engineering, or similar fields – These professions conveniently explain frequent travel and help justify future requests for money.
- Sudden emergencies or legal troubles – After earning your trust, they invent medical emergencies or unexpected fees and claim only you can help them because they’re “stuck” abroad. Make no mistake — you are not the only person they are asking.
How to Protect Yourself
The first line of defense is knowing the scammer’s playbook: love bombing, intense questioning, avoidance of in‑person meetings, and urgent requests for money. Additional steps include:
- Be careful with your online footprint – Limit what you share publicly on social media and dating apps. The more information available, the easier it is to exploit.
- Research their profile – Reverse‑search photos, names, and details. Look for inconsistencies or reused images with different identities.
- Take your time – Real love isn’t rushed. Ask your own questions and do independent research.
- Watch for “too perfect” behavior – Be cautious if they always say the right thing or quickly push communication off the dating platform.
- Beware of isolation or photo requests – Attempts to distance you from friends or family or requests for inappropriate photos or financial information can lead to extortion.
- Pay attention if you can’t meet – If months go by and meeting never happens, strongly consider walking away.
- Never send money – Never, ever send money to someone you’ve only communicated with online or over the phone.
Helpful Resources
- AARP – aarp.org offers extensive fraud prevention resources
- FBI – fbi.gov provides information on current scams and reporting
- Advocating for U – advocatingforu.com focuses specifically on romance scam prevention and support
If you believe you may be involved in a romance scam — or close to becoming a victim — we’re here to help. Online dating can help you find “the one,” but it isn’t without risks. Take your time, ask questions, do your research, trust your instincts, and stay informed so you find the right one — not the wrong one.